Friday, November 23, 2007

Grey Friday

Snow has arrived in Spearman and for some reason it is a good day to sit and watch it snow and cry. It is cold, and grey outside and today I just feel very teary. There are some days where the tears just roll for no reason. Don't they call today Black Friday? It feels like Grey Friday to me. Thanksgiving was pretty uneventful for our family. Hubby cooked the entire meal. I was very grateful for that. I worked most of the day and went home at noon to eat turkey with the family. The coolest thing of the day was all 6 of us around the table holding hands for a prayer that my husband said. (Even though he did pray for the Cowboys) Those of you who do not know us don't know just how big of a deal that was, and to those of you who do know us you know how big of a miracle that was. We are not a typical family to say the least. We are starting to resemble a normal family, but it will take more than just a month. Sometimes when my past and present comes crashing together my life feels like it has been shattered into a million pieces like a mirror that has been dropped on a marble floor. Now I am just trying to put all the pieces back together and not get too cut up in the process. I know that God will help me put my life back together again and it will come out better than before. Sometimes I have to be reminded of that, and that everything will be ok no matter what it looks like today.

3 comments:

NB said...

I understand - especially the past/present reference.

I have often felt that I have to take everything that I thought I knew(in the past)about God, Christianity, the Bible etc. - twist it around, flip it, then try to fit it all back into my brain and accept it. Sometimes it is very confusing! I work on it daily.

Neva said...

If we insist, God will allow us to put our pieces together but He would make us something much more useful and much more beautiful, if we have the patience to let Him. It is so hard to give up that control to Him. It probably feels like you are all alone in this process. I promise you that you are not the only broken person redeemed by God, there are so many of us. You are a part of the greatest family on earth and you grow in Him, growing pains are inevitable. As you work through those pains, growth is inevitable. I hold you near and dear to my heart. Please know that I love you and that not a day goes by that you are not in my prayers.
Love
n

Stacie said...

nb Thanks I will keep working too...

Neva You know I have control issues, and everything I let go of has claw marks all over it, but I am trying, Thanks for being there and being patient. Love Ya