Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Expectations and Circumstances

By relying on past experiences I have come to expect certain things from certain people and yesterday it seemed that every time I turned around the expectations I had in mind were drastically different from the way things were going. It was kinda one of those twilight zone days. This morning as I think back on some of those events I am truly puzzled. Some of you reading this may be thinking "What?" Let me explain: In my home I can usually expect certain reactions from my children especially the two older boys. If I say no you can't do this or no you can't go there, I can typically expect grumbling and groaning, not ok mom and not another word. Don't get me wrong it can be a great change from the norm, but not what I had expected from past experience. I have been told that one definition of Insanity is repeating the same mistake over and over again expecting a different result. Well what would it be when you expect the same response from someone when the circumstances are different every time. I am sure there is a lesson here somewhere and maybe it is just too early in the morning for me to get it, or maybe I have just not had enough coffee yet. I dont know. Something for me to ponder today. What do you think?


lisa said...

Hmm ... expectations. Whenever I hear that word I think about the fact that after a few years of marriage I come to expect certain reactions from my husband to things I do or say. Regardless of the fact that he has improved on some of the negative ones, I still expect certain things and so will sometimes avoid a conversation or communication altogether. Needless to say, that makes communication difficult!!

Stacie said...

I do that too, my hubby is always asking me why I didn't tell him about something and I have told him "well I didn't want to make you mad" as if not telling him for a few days or weeks made it any better. Pretty sure he wouldn't have been as upset if I had not tried to avoid it for so long.

Evan Williams said...

well i don't have to worry about a husband but my dad always tells me if im trying something and i can't do it right that i should change something because you can't do the same thing over and over and expect the same result that is stupidity.

Kathy said...

Expectations are like a mom's call to her kids:

"I'm cold! Put your coat on!"

In a way we do that with our expectations - we expect others to be on the same page and wanting to be on that same page with us.

You wrote:
"Well what would it be when you expect the same response from someone when the circumstances are different every time."

Circumstances can repeat themselves, but in my experience, human beings are in a constant state of flux, growth and change. Ergo, placing them in a familiar circumstance does not always evoke a previous or same response as previously experienced.

May I suggest we look for growth and hopefully, their maturing in following our Savior's footsteps. You, yourself, are going through a huge change. I doubt but that there are circumstances in your past that will cause a totally different response if presented today, PTL and your new life in Jesus!

My dad used to say it's good to keep our expectation aim low for others, but our aim high about expectations for self.

Evan Williams said...

just got off work time to do laundry and the AIM stuff is a continual work its not due for a while.

Mommysmart said...

I vote for the coffee shortage! Coffee makes everything better. I am enjoying your blog.


Lisa & Stacie - We men need to hear about those things. But put them in a way that it doesn't come across as being critical or a put-down. Makes it much easier on our egos. :)

Monalea said...

Stacie, I try not to expect anything from anyone then I'm not disappointed. I hate disappointment. That's probably really delusional.