Thursday, June 5, 2008
Worn to a frazzlin thin
I have heard people say this in the past and I always wondered what that felt like, well I get it now!!! Today has been an emotional landslide. It was Kristi's memorial service and when it was over and I was back at my office, I felt completely drained. I have never cried this much for this long in all my life. It has to let up soon or I will dehydrate. After the services I was able to spend some time with Kristi's little girls. Her 6 year old gave me the biggest hug and told me she was going to live with Nana cuz her mommie died. I don't think that she really understands, but she may I don't know. There were so many people there that loved Kristi and the service was pretty. I just can't imagine never talking to or seeing Kristi again, it still seems so unreal. The other night I had a dream that started out with my son leaving for the army and they had an all day boot camp for the parents and new soldiers, which they do not do by the way, anyway back to the dream, in this dream there was a infirmary type place where there were nurses and Kristi was standing there in this doorway and she waved at me (like a goodbye wave) and then turned around and walked away. She was smiling and looked great, it was so real with the most vivid colors. There were a bunch of other things in the dream, but the last thing I remember was seeing Kristi and then I woke up. I know that I am not the only person in the world to loose someone that they care about, but I never knew that it could hurt this much. Like we say in the program, "THIS TOO SHAL PASS". Just not soon enough.